The 2012 Slave Awards!

So OBVIOUSLY shipping to Hawaii is expensive, I’m sick of hearing you whiners mention that.   How many times have I mentioned in my old blog to GET AMAZON PRIME?  So many times.  You shouldn’t be wasting money on shipping when you’re supposed to be spending it on your Goddess!

If you are a student:  sign up for amazon student (free) with your .edu email.  FREE SHIPPING on prime items for 6 months.

http://www.amazon.com/b/?node=668781011

If you are a not a student:  Sign up for amazon mom (free)  it gives you 3 free months of amazon prime.  FREE SHIPPING on prime items.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/mom/signup/welcome

When your membership expires, you can just make a whole new account and sign up again.  Most things on my list are prime eligible.  I order you all to sign up for prime.  Right.  Fucking.   Now.

In other news, I’m rising back to the top on kinkbomb very quickly, surprise surprise.  Don’t forget to rate.  If you pop up to praise my newest video, and I see there is no rating, I’m going to be pissed.

Reposting this from last month:

Well, here I am, supposed to write a piece and there isn’t a single topic on findomme that hasn’t been beaten into the ground.  I talk about myself enough, I’ll let my slaves have the spotlight tonight, and they’ll piss themselves with joy for having been mentioned.   I’ve stated previously that the dynamics of each of my relationships is different, obviously everyone’s interests, personalities and fetishes vary greatly.

This is the 2012 Slave Awards!

The award for greatest pain slut goes tooooooo eagertoplease!

Slathering icy hot on his dick and repeatedly smashing it with an iron does nothing to fend off his erection.  Neither does hooking jumper cables to his nipples.  When I try to punish this loser with pain, he only gets more excited.  What.    A.    Freak.

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The award for the biggest gift giver/ most easily butthurt and ornery/ most rebellious/ most fun to play with/ most complex/ most bizarre fetish  goes toooooo jabba!

He can’t resist purchasing sexy clothes, shoes and lingerie off of my wishlist, but play too hard with him and this fat loser gets grumpy!  He’s always trying to piss me off and he’s kind of slutty, but I have the most fun with him- and it’s all about ME!  By the way, I still want someone to make a drawing of princess leia fucking jabba in the ass with a strap on, is that too much to ask?!

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The award for most improved cash cow goes toooooo Saudi pig!

This little guy was just a grocery store cashier when he first came to me, only giving small amounts here and there.  Once he realized he would really have to step it up to earn my attention, he doubled his hours and work and set up a weekly payment schedule.  He has never missed a payment and I have never had to remind him, not only that, he can’t resist buying used items from me for ridiculous amounts of money, and he purchases from my wishlist when he can.  Last month he decided he wanted to be my personal pampering slave, he now pays for all my hair appointments and manicures.  What a good piggy.

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The award for biggest spender goes toooooooooo fantasia funbags!

This slutty sissy will beg me to allow her to spend on me, dropping hundreds and sometimes thousands in one night.  I do nothing but violently verbally abuse her and she keeps adoringly running back for more, wallet ready!

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The award for biggest kinkbomb slut goes toooooooo mitsu!

He goes gaga for my hypno clips, and bought up every clip I ever made, keep it up!  I’ll let you know if you drop to #2.

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The hairy palms award goes toooooooo small dick loser!

Our sessions consist of me yelling and berating him for jerking it constantly, and making him fashion a homemade chastity and securing it on.  He always promises to leave it on, but he’ll come crawling back the next week having failed.  He jerks it so much he can’t have a normal relationship.  So gross.

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The award for the biggest man boobies goes toooooooo bitchtits!

The fatass is one obese motherfucker.  I’ve helped him to lose a good hunk of weight by forced exercise and forced dieting, but he is still repulsively overweight.  Just look at these giant titties!

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The award for the biggest foot slut goes toooooooo bandslave!

This scrawny little dude can’t get enough of my fabulous feet.  His heart stops every time I post a new pic, and he’s always adding new ones to his shrine.  He can’t wait to get a pair of my used shoes in the mail; they will be his new girlfriend!

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The award for the most obedient slave goes tooooooo chubbycakes!

There isn’t a thing this slave wouldn’t do for me.  No matter what I ask him, he’ll never say no.  He proudly has zero pride, just for me.  He’s done it all, licked bugs off the grill of his car, snorted hot sauce, been my little cuck, eaten dog food, locked himself in chastity for 40 days, drove for 20 (or 23, idk) hours to have a 3 hour real time session with me.  Keep it up.

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The award for most absent slave goes tooooooo wacko!

He wants so badly to be completely controlled by me and he wants to be one of my best slaves, he even has a blog dedicated to documenting his “decent into slavery” but we communicate via offline messages sent through YIM.  Wtf is that?  Who cares, he still takes a chunk out of my wishlist each week.  By the way, aren’t you missing an important anniversary, loser?

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