My Birthday Is Fast Approaching!

*Attention Slaves:  This is a public service announcement  From now on, you will call your penis your wee wee stick.  Failure to adhere to this new rule will result in punishment.  I know you all stalk me on twitter and read my blog, so you ALL are considered warned after today.*


So, my birthday is fast approaching (april 2nd).  Last year for my birthday, I celebrated in San Francisco with Demi.  This year, she is coming to me in Hawaii.   Demi gets here on the 30th and we’ll be going out that night.

A few pics from last year, I lost most of them:

(click photos to enlarge)

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I am totally an aries. A firey, molten aries.

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So, LASIK went great, I now have 20/15 vision, which is even better than 20/20.  My eyes were sore the day of the surgery but I was back to normal the next day.  I haven’t been active the past two weeks because I wasn’t allowed to wear makeup.  I’m now fully healed and back to the usual.

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After that, I spontaneously went in for an Invisalign consultation, for those of you that don’t know, Invisalign is clear braces that you can take out of your mouth when you want to.  They gave me an awesome deal so I decided to go ahead and do it.  My teeth are pretty perfect, it’s just this ONE tooth on the bottom that I need to put in line.  I am a perfectionist, I know.  I’ll be getting those put on in a few weeks.

I’ve had a bunch of hilarious sessions this month.  I wish I had the ambition to document them all with pictures and update more frequently so I could fill you all in.  My first blog was a masterpiece, as some of my older slaves recall.  I can only remember my most recent sessions so here is what I can pull from my memory:

little miss piss face:  I sessioned with him the other day.  I usually don’t pay attention to him and tell him to fuck off when he wants to session with me because he’s a cheap little bastard, but I wasn’t busy so I went ahead.  He offered to let me use his credit card, so we agreed on $50 and we jumped on skype.  I had him give me his teamviewer ID and login and we got started.  I logged into etsy and looked around.  I ended up getting a silver dipped sea horse necklace ( for those of you saying “wait, I thought you were a vegetarian?” technically I’m a pescetarian so seafood is okay.  Vegetarian is just easier to say because I don’t have to explain and sound pretentious) that was $100 plus shipping.  He protested, of course, because it was more than we agreed on, but FUCK THAT there was no way I was going to cam with him for less than $100.  So after I get what I want, he’s horny as fuck and ready to stroke.  First I take advantage of my time on teamviewer.  I delete all of his YIM and SKYPE contacts, except for me, then I block his access to adult sites.  I did this without his permission of course, and disabled his abilities to control his computer.  I teased him a bit, let him stroke for a few seconds and then ended the skype call.  I told him if he wanted to finish, he could watch porn.  Of course, porn is now blocked on his computer, so if he wants to access it now he’ll have to pay me to go in and fix it for him.  That REALLY pissed him off which absolutely DELIGHTED ME!  He’s a pissy, feisty one.  Not my slave, just a slut.

*Jehova Cuck:  *Came wandering back out of nowhere.  He usually serves me HARD for a day or two and then runs away with his tail between his legs.  When I was last in San Fransisco around halloween, he sent $1000 and then took off as quick as he could.  This time he sent $500, then paid for some shopping ($150 ish)

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and bought an amazon gift before he disappeared the next day.  While he was here, I had him do the human birthday cake stunt for me.  I recorded it, and thank god I did, because it was fucking hilarious.  He is SO stupid, I swear.  I told him to take out the candles when he was on all fours, but for some reason, he stood up and tried to take it out, thus burning his ass and the flame reaches upward, TOWARDS him.  By that time the candle had burned down quite a bit and he couldn’t get it out, he ended up running to the bathroom and turning on the water to put it out.  I really lost it when I heard the water running and his whimpering.  I am SO, SO upset with myself for forgetting to record the sound, but here is the clip:

bdaycakegonewrong  <------  Click to view the clip

We have an understanding that I can use his videos, I’m not using this without his permission if you’re wondering.  Consensual blackmail only (and this isn’t blackmail, this is just fun).

Eddie: came to play.  He’s not a slave, but a cam puppet.  He’s hopelessly addicted to my legs, feet and heels.  He thought he would have a fun little jerk session, but that’s not how it goes.  You don’t just get to JERK YOUR FUCKING DICK.  I told eddie that he had to jerk right into his mouth like the slut that he is, he started to bust without following orders, so I turned my cam into the wall, and he got to jerk it to the wall.  Oh nooo, did I  ruin your orgasm?  Good!  Next time won’t be so fun.  Enjoy your wall fetish.

Paying Bitch:   I feel like he did something that pleased me this month.  I’ve already forgotten what it was because he doesn’t check in enough.  He DID get me a white bikini that I adore (pee idiot got the leopard one)

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He sent me an amended blackmail contract, with this little table of fines.

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Pee Idiot:  Little by little, I’ve been getting more and more blackmail info on him.  I filled in his blackmail application myself.  I finally got the last piece the other day, when he was on a drunken, Goddess high, mumbling and worshipping me.  I asked him, nonchalantly, where he works and he told me.  One word, that’s all I needed since a month before that, he accidentally emailed me with his work email.  I wouldn’t have even known, had he not asked me which email I replied to, worried about having an email from me in his work inbox.  I googled the name or his work with his work email and  “BAM” all the info I needed on him.  Perfect.  Now there is no where for him to run.

He split my salon bill with banana slut.  It was $240.  $160 for my hair and $80 for my massage.  I had them pick a number 1-100, whoever was closest got to pay for the massage, the loser paid for my hair.  Pee idiot got lucky and got to pay for the massage.

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Lurker: came back.  He’s been gone for 6 months and he finally moseyed on back like I knew he would.  You can read about that in my next post, that was featured on Domme Dose.  He just paid for our hotel room for next weekend.

Band Slave: has been sending tons of cards in the mail with cash in them - My favorite!  It was his 10 or 11 month slave anniversary recently.  He is a loyal one.

Swellin4jess:* *Shot himself in the leg with a paintball last night for my amusement.

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That’s all I can remember off the top of my head.

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