Making Money

Serving is a sacrifice, you work and I play. That’s the deal, right? Right.

If you want to play with the big girls, you better find a way to scrounge up some extra cash or else your poor ass is getting kicked to the curb. If you’re broke as a joke, this is how you should spend your weekend (hopefully you can afford to PAY attention):

  • Become a test subject for clinical trials- It’s better to experiment on YOU than on innocent animals, and you’ll get paid for it. Hospitals and researchers rarely advertise clinical trials, so nailing down a pay range is tricky. One trial could earn up to $1,000 per person but it’s important to think things through beforehand (just kidding, no one gives a shit about you). Search online or on craigslist.

  • Sell your organs- Your kidneys are worth up to $10k a pop! It’s on the black market of course. “It’s estimated that “organ trafficking accounts for roughly five to 10 percent of all the kidney transplants performed in the world.” (The Atlantic.)

  • Sell your blood plasma- It’s used to treat diseases like hemophilia and autoimmune disorders. Blood banks will pay anywhere from $20-$60 and you can “donate” twice a week. It’s a tiered system, so you’ll receive more the second time than the first time. Luckily you are probably a virgin, therefore won’t be disqualified for STD’s.

  • Sell your hair- Do you have some long, greasy man locks? Grow that shit out, the trick is to keep it long and pure as possible, no dyes or perms. BONUS: You will have some sissy material to work with while it grows out. Post an ad on http://thehairtrader.org and make anywhere from $50-1k.

  • Become a billboard- Get a brand tattooed on your body. It worked for some single mother in Utah. She tattooed an online casino’s url to her forehead for $10,000.

  • Online surveys- Super time consuming, pennies per hour. A good punishment for being broke and lazy. http://www.swagbucks.com pays in amazon gift cards.

  • Get paid to drive your car- wrap your vehicle with an advertiser’s message (vinyl decal) and make $300 to $900 a month. http://freecarmedia.com or http://www.drivenmediaonline.com

  • Get on craigslist- Find some odd jobs. Help an old lady move or suck off some dudes behind walmart.

  • Niteflirt- Men home alone> gay> Put up some sexy pics and wait for the phone to ring! “I’ll do ANYTHING, mister!”

  • Recycle- Collect cans and bottles and practice being homeless. It’s best to start now. (Tip- apparently baseball games are a gold mine!)

  • Sell your prized possessions- Ebay, garage sale, craigslist. Sell your stuff, you don’t need stuff when your Domme wants stuff.

  • Make a meth lab- I don’t give a fuck.

DO NOT, for any reason, resort to selling your contaminated, bottom-of-the-barrel DNA. NO ONE wants your putrid sperm. No sperm selling, you should all be castrated.