I had so many vacations all at once that I completely gave up on blogging.  Where to start? It’s overwhelming…

Ibiza – September 13th

**Lindsey **was my travel partner for this trip that we enjoyed with friends.  We stayed in a huge 6 bedroom villa that had a beautiful infinity pool.

We set ourselves up in master bedroom of course! We went to the most amazing clubs and we drank so much Dom Perignon champagne that I got heartburn for the first time in my life and refused to drink anymore on the last day.  We saw Steve Aiko at Pacha and Lindsey got caked.  We went out on a boat one day and drove around a little water scooter.  It was so perfect because it just so happened to be Lindsey's birthday!  We celebrated non stop.

The “mojito man” drove his boat up to ours and made us fresh mojitos.

We went to this breath taking little island and had the freshest, most delicious seafood lunch on the beach.  We had so much fun in Ibiza that we didn’t even bother sleeping.

Vegas- September 18th

After Ibiza Lindsey and I had two days to recover and pack before a big Vegas trip!  This trip was planned for Lindsey’s birthday.  When I say “planned” I mean she booked absolutely everything months in advance and had a color-coded spreadsheet with every event planned for every day we were there right down to the hour.  We had 9 girls with us, including Jasmine Mendez and Princess Lyne.  Do you know what sucks about being in two giant, joined suites at the Venetian with 9 naked hot girls running around the whole time?  Absolutely nothing!  We also met Kayla Jane Danger, who I hadn’t met before, at a beach club one afternoon. Check out her work!  We all had SO much fun together, dancing the night away at the hottest clubs and eating delicious food every night before we went out.

Lindsey and I met a slave on one of those days.  He had been calling me on Niteflirt for a while and I agreed to meet him under the condition that he take me somewhere nice AND Lindsey came along AND he brought me my favorite multivitamin AND put $1000 in cold hard cash at my feet.  He happily complied of course!  Lindsey and I enjoyed a delicious lunch at Bouchon at the Venetian while he stuttered the whole time and was beside himself with adoration, totally smitten.  When we finished our lunch and champagne we made him get down on the floor and kiss our feet in front of everyone who happened to walk by.  Of course we savored his embarrassment. He wrote us a poem about the experience:

LA- September 28th

After we were done with Vegas Lindsey and I headed back to her place in LA.  We had a week to recover before Groove Cruise 2014, which we spent working our asses off at night and brunching during the day.  We love us a good bottomless champagne brunch! We work hard and we play harder.

We made him sit in the front by himself while we took selfies in the back seat lol.

Groove Cruise- October 6^th^

At this point in my trip I was exhausted but that didn’t stop me from dancing my ass off and treating every day like Halloween!  I have to say I could have done without the drugged up Cali bros and other typical booze cruise obnoxiousness, but it was still an experience.  The bass from the dub/techno/house music shook the walls of our balcony suite 24/7, to the point where you could not sleep because the DJ’s rotated in a way that it would never cease.  We stopped on Catalina Island where we caught a stunning sunset and later joined a party on the beach.  We also stopped in Ensenada, Mexico where we ate at a restaurant that we realized was crawling with cockroaches wayyyy too late.

Miami- November 16-23rd

I planned a trip to Miami to visit my GF I hadn’t seen since high school.  My favorite slave lives in Miami so naturally he set me up in a beautiful suite.  I flew into Fort Lauderdale so I could check out the trip and relive the nostalgia of my first real vacation I ever went on with my boyfriend at 17.  He had told me to pick anywhere in the US I wanted to go and I just selected the place on the map that had the highest temperature for that week, which ended up being Hollywood Florida!  I had my slave pick me up at the airport and bring me fresh pressed juice.  We then grabbed some food at a restaurant on the strip, which I was so ready for after that ridiculously long flight!  After that I was ready for bed, we went to my suite just as the sun was setting and he had surprised me with a whole cart of goodies.  This is why he’s my favorite.

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The next few days I spent hanging out with my girlfriend.  I have a loyal foot boy in Miami who happens to be a cop.  Even though we could have used favorite, or an Uber, we used the cop as a taxi because it was hilarious.  He begged me to take my heels off his dashboard, lest he get into an accident or his boss see him.  One night I let him worship my feet in his full uniform while my dumbfounded girlfriend watched and laughed.  I loved seeing him on his knees, gazing adoringly into my eyes with my big toe in his mouth.  Calling him a pig was so appropriate.   During that week I had Favorite film a couple clips with me.  He filmed Evil Babysitter**, **just watch his hands shake. I also hypnotized him in person, the first slave that has ever had the honor. The first time I hypnotized him and then pulled him out of trance I was delighted to read all the signs of hypnosis on his face; a dazed look, eyes watery and glazed. He relaxed obediently to the point that he was twitching as if asleep, yet another sign of hypnosis. All week Favorite went above and beyond to make sure I was happy and pampered.

We toured Vizcaya, he booked me a spa appointment, he brought me to my favorite kind of restaurants.  All of my room service requests went right on his tab.  I had him bring me to BeBe where I tested out my trigger word on him and made him buy a top for Lindsey to boot! I was constantly switching back and forth from friendly banter to taking control of him.  He was always on his toes.  One morning he had waited for hours at whole foods for me to wake up and tell him what kind of juice my friend and I wanted to cure our hangovers.  When he arrived I slid my straw out of its wrapper and lazily threw it in the direction of the tray he was holding.  It bounced off him onto the ground and I noticed the tiniest bit of annoyance flicker across his face and he bent to pick it up and continued with his story.  Noted!  Believe me he’s mellowed out even more since then, as impossible as it seems. Favorite also developed a foot fetish during my time in Miami.  He couldn’t help but take peeks at my toes all the time and when I randomly decided to put them in his mouth one afternoon when he was putting on my heels for me, he didn’t resist at all.  Of course he was delighted to have any part of me at all in his mouth!  When he found out that I actually enjoy having my feet worshipped he was begging to do it at least once a day.  How funny that I can morph your fetishes at will.  His fetishes just happen to be all my favorites… coincidence?  Nope. My favorite clip that I filmed with him was a real time hypnosis session: Real Time Hypnosis ft Favorite

Lindsey comes to visit!- Mid Janurary

Lindsey, her boyfriend and his hunky friend came to see me at my place on Oahu.  We beached, we brunched, and we checked out the surfing competition on north shore.

We had a blast and it was over before we knew it!  We used the hunky friend, who we affectionately called Ken Doll, for a couple clips**:**   https://iwantclips.com/store/192/Goddess-Jessica/21608/Cuck-In-The-Closet   https://iwantclips.com/store/148/Lindsey-Leigh/20988/SHOWING-OFF-THE-ALPHA-MALE

India- Jan 25-Jan 4th

My best friend from college was put into an arranged marriage so it was off to Chennai for the festivities!  First I had one of my long time slaves, John4jess, meet me in Hawaii so we could travel together.  We went to my favorite restaurant and then I hypnotized him for the first time so that I could set the tone for the trip. This trip was about ME.   On Christmas day we were at the Honolulu airport, booking last minute planes.  Every Christmas I send myself on vacation!  We had a layover in South Korea, one of my favorite countries to visit. We ate some delicious food and then grabbed separate hotel rooms in order to sleep before the next big flight.

The next day we were in Chennai, where I was immediately swarmed by mosquitoes and instantly dying of malaria. Thankfully I just had the hotel doctor come prescribe me some anti malaria pills and I was good to go.  India was absolutely magical, it was exactly how I expected it to be.  My favorite book of all time is Shantaram, which I’ve read three times since high school.  My best friends in college were Indian, I was always the token white girl, and they taught me to appreciate their culture.  India is known for the stark contrast between rich and poor, and they coexist in such a surreal way. We were constantly surrounded by extravagant buildings and destitute slums. The street was a mosh pit of cows, beggars, businessmen, holy people, rickshaws, bikes, and other vehicles.  We happened to be in a very traditional part of India which was not westernized in any way like Bombay or Deli. I was wearing a sari or a salwar at all times.  Everywhere I went people stared, and I was actually worried that I was going to cause an accident because people would slow down and gawk into the car window at me.  We first stayed at the hotel where my friend was getting married.  It was very traditional, all wooden inside with maroon carpets and gold curtains. The butlers waited on us hand and foot, and they even folded up my saris for me when I left after they overheard me yelling at John for just stuffing them into my suitcase when he packed my bags for me.  When I showed up to see my friend she burst open her hotel door, arms wide, with a giant smile on her face and yelled “WAZZZUPPPP” in her best bud light voice and then bear hugged me and spun me around.  You know you have a good friend when you can see them years later and be right where you left off.  Her arms and legs were completely covered in intricately detailed henna ink right down to the cuticles. I was so jealous I had missed the event just a few days before arriving!  Before the wedding, my friend’s aunt took me sari shopping. Since she didn’t speak much English her daughter was our translator.  There were so many stunning fabrics it was so hard to choose just two! Everyone watched as I was fitted. I must have been the only white person in the entire city, let alone a bright blonde young female. The wedding was absolutely magnificent, with everything decorated in flowers.  I took some awesome photos and the food was just mind blowing.

A day after the wedding I had John bring me to dinner.  Afterwards I ditched him to go to a private after party at a beach house with my friend, her new husband, his brothers and their close friends.

This was about an hour out of the city in the middle of India. I thought I would get sick from the food there for sure; no one survives India without Delhi belly, but somehow I did!  Even the ice can make you deathly sick and I had to keep reminding their personal bartender to stop putting ice in my drink. Bottled water only!  Since we were in a traditional part of India and women are frowned upon for drinking, I was one of only 2 women at the whole party.  Just my friend and I. Nevertheless, I had a lot of fun! Most of them had never met an American girl before, or even left India.  I smoked hookah with everyone and declined jumping into the pool. At the end of the night after one too many men asked if I was staying the night and which room I would be in, we had to lock me into one of the guest houses and bar all the windows and doors.  I survived, and in the morning I had my driver come pick me back up.  While I was gone John had been learning how to perfect his photography skills, making a game plan for the rest of the days we had left to explore India and cleaning all my shoes.

We then moved on to a cool hotel that I had picked out, the ITC Grand Chola. I’ve never stayed at such a lavish hotel before, with exotic marble floor to ceiling wherever you went.  I was so in love with it and my hotel room that I was tempted to spend to rest of the trip there!  On New Year’s Day John took me shopping for salwars. I wore my favorite one to a seven course vegetarian feast at an amazing restaurant in the hotel called Royal Vega.   Later Favorite paid for me to enjoy the spa, which I did immensely after being out in all that muck!

We spent two days hiring a driver to run us all over Chennai checking out various temples, including a cool Muslim mosque we were blessed at that looked like a purple Easter egg.  The temples were absolutely breathtaking, and it blew my mind how colorful and detailed they all were.  I tried not to be TOO bossy with John in public because we were getting all kinds of jaw dropping stares as I ordered him around like my servant and he quickly jumped to obey, being my personal photographer and pack mule.

One day I decided I wanted to go shopping.  I LOVE shopping but like to get in and get out. I know exactly what I want and don’t like spending too much time browsing.  John followed me around like the obedient, doting slave that he is and didn’t even notice when I snapped my fingers each time he pulled out his credit card to pay.  Triggers people, triggers.  John bought silks and scarves and jewelry and goodies for Lindsey, and our driver followed us to help translate.

Haggled him from $2000 to $250 for a gorgeous tibetan necklace. He had to run out of the shop after me when I walked out. "Fine fine, your price!" I also got my mom and Lindsey bracelets. John paid!

On our way home we stopped in South Korea for the day where we met up with one of his friends and his two students who were learning English.  They brought us to a cool temple and then took us out to eat at a traditional Korean restaurant and then visit a traditional little Korean town.  The girls then brought us shopping where I had John buy Fuck Toy some Korean honey candy that we fell in love with while in South Korea last year.

Tantra Festival- Jan 22-26th

I went to what I keep referring to as the “Hippy Fest” with Fuck Toy.  We rented an amazing home in Pahoa complete with an ariel silk and tons of “pet” gold dust day geckos.  It was so refreshing hanging out with relaxed, flowy hippies for a week.

We went to a class on polygamy, hosted by lady from show.  I went to a yoni blessing ceremony where I learned all about vaginas and clitorises and squirting and sex, and then sat around naked in a circle with women in their 30’s-80’s as each women had her yoni blessed and then everyone had to guess what shape it was.  Pussy power.

We went to a cacao festival where we ate the sacred cacao bean and then danced around topless after the men knelt at the feet of all the women and thanked us for being Goddesses.  I had a full grown man sob in front of me while staring into my eyes during a project about forgiveness.  I learned about a cool ayahuasca journey in Peru that I want to go on in my lifetime. I learned about putting yourself into the shoes of someone with a fetish, which I’m already a pro at and was happy to share.  At one point there was a guided dance where the women and men were to dance in gender reversal fashion. I approached one man aggressively and intensely and afterwards he confessed to the group that for the first time in his life he felt preyed on, bashful and two feet tall. We went to a black sand nude beach and frolicked in the waves with all the hippies. It was a life changing experience and I loved it so much. I’m going to go to one every year.

I would post pictures but cell phones were highly discouraged, so here’s some pics of Pahoa.

San Francisco and Napa Valley- March 27th - April 1st

Did you know I have one other best friend besides Lindsey?  It’s weird, I know.  This one I hadn’t seen for two years and we grew up together since we were infants.  We had so much fun catching up! After I arrived we drove her truck to Napa where we hopped on a wine train and had a delicious meal on our way to a winery that we toured.  Favorite took it upon himself to pay for my entire Napa experience as a birthday present, as he adores me completely.  Later that night we went out to the bars and met some hilarious high-spirited Russian men.  It was so wonderful that it happened to us because they were A) our favorite kind of people (fun, energetic, hot, funny) and B) it’s our inside joke to always talk to each other in a Russian accent.  Ever since we watched Heart Breakers as tweens we would do that constantly, to the point that we even thought in Russian accents.  I immediately became Svetlana and she Olga, we spent the whole night dancing around with them and speaking in an exaggerated Russian accent, which I’m sure to onlookers looked like we were mocking them to their faces but they LOVED us of course!  The next day we went on a wine tour around Napa.  Our tour guide turned out to be Demi Moore and Bruce Willis’ private chef of seven years. She was an absolute rock star! We went to five different wineries, each one so unique. One was carved into a hill like a hobbit home. At one that was family owned we picnicked with a gorgeous spread from our tour guide as two Lagotto Romagnolo dogs mooched adorably.  We enjoyed a huge cheese platter on the bus in between wineries.  We couldn’t have asked for a more perfect day.  That night her boyfriend met us in Napa where we went out to a nice restaurant and enjoyed lots more food and wine.  We are so spoiled.

It was back to SF the next day where we recovered one day and brunched another before I headed to Denver.

Denver- April 2nd- April 9th

After seeing one best friend, it was off towards my other to continue my birthday tour! Lindsey and her boyfriend picked me up from the airport and we were jumping with glee to be together again!  They took me to a fabulous Asian restaurant where we absolutely feasted on the most amazing food.  I ate the leftovers for four days afterwards hehe.

They know that the way to my heart is through my stomach!

One of the highlights of the trip was walking into their sweet new place and seeing it decked out in birthday presents and birthday surprises.  I had to drink out of my birthday cup and my birthday straws and eat off my birthday plates with my birthday napkins.  I even had birthday toilet paper, which was obviously my favorite, besides the giant inflatable birthday penis.

The rest of the week was brunch, brunch, brunch and work, work, work, and fun, fun, fun! We went to the funnest spots and hung out with the funnest people. I fell in love with Denver and I’m ready to ship myself over there to stay for good. I ended up extending my trip three more days.  I will save tons of money on airfare by being in Lindsey’s city any way! Somehow I was also able to squeeze in an indoor sky dive and a hike.

Her friend, Jenny P Styles, did our hair and makeup when we were too hung over to manage.  I’ve never had anyone get my hair and makeup so on point, she absolutely rocks! Of course, Favorite paid for our stylist, and for a $650 BeBe shopping spree (oopsie.)

After living in paradise for three years I’ve finally decided to come back to the real world.  I’m in the process of moving to Denver and welcoming all amazon GC’s to furnish my new place!

Next on my travel list is Nashville and Greece.